The Amazeballs Nomenclature
by kidamaroo
Summary: Sheldon disapproves of the name Leonard gives a newly discovered elementary particle.


"Hey, Leonard," Raj asked one morning, "remember that experiment you did with the moon rocks?"

Leonard was surprised. He'd finished that experiment about 18 months ago, and this was the first time anyone at work brought it up since then. "What about it?"

"Well," Raj continued, "I was reading the paper you wrote, and I think you just discovered something mind-blowing without even knowing."

Leonard was, in all honesty, a bit puzzled (and flattered) when he heard this. When his paper came out, the reception was OK but not great. Furthermore, nobody really did any sort of follow up on it. It was little more than something that happened. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Raj was about to say something that would totally rock not just Leonard's world, but the world of physics, too. "You aren't going to believe this when I tell you," he said, "but I think you just discovered the elementary particle that makes up dark matter."

Leonard couldn't believe what he was hearing. The search for the elementary particle that makes up dark matter was one of the most elusive problems in modern science, and he had solved it. "What?" he said, laughing excitedly, "You're kidding!"

Raj meant it. "No, I'm serious." he said.

They both gasped. "This is huge, Leonard! You just solved one of the most important astrophysical mysteries of our time!" Both of them were ecstatic, and rightly so. They had just solved one of the biggest, if not _the_ biggest, mystery in modern astrophysics. "This is totally amazeballs, dude!" Awkward as Raj's use of slang in that moment was, it provided the source for the name for this new miracle particle: _the amazeballs._

When Leonard and Raj met up with Sheldon and Howard that afternoon, all Leonard could talk about was that his accidental discovery of the elementary particle that makes up dark matter. Nobody could blame him, though. It was pretty exciting. It was akin to demonstrating an undergraduate physics experiment and accidentally discovering time travel. "Hey guys," Leonard said, beaming, "I have big news."

"They found a cure for lactose intolerance?" Sheldon asked.

"No," he answered, "but I might have accidentally discovered the elementary particle that makes up dark matter."

Sheldon gasped in excitement. "And you're naming it after me!?"

Leonard furrowed his brow. "Um, no, Sheldon" he said, "I'm calling it the amazeballs."

Sure, Leonard and Raj thought "amazeballs" was a cool name for a new elementary particle. After all, it was an amazing discovery and the moon rocks Leonard used in his experiment had to be nearly spherical to for the experiment to work. It fit. There was only one problem with it. Sheldon thought that "amazeballs" was stupid.

"That's a dumb name for an elementary particle," he said in his usual condescending tone, "It's just the word "amazing" with "balls" attached to it. I fail to see why an elementary particle should be named after a made up word containing a reference to testicles"

"It's not stupid." Raj said, coming to Leonard's defence, "you know how the moon rocks had to be ground into little balls for the experiment to work properly? I mean, it just clicks. It's an amazing discovery and it was first found in little balls of moon rock. Hence the name, amazeballs."

That evening, they went for a special dinner to commemorate Leonard's accidental discovery.

"I can't believe this," sulked Sheldon, "Leonard discovered the elementary particle that makes up dark matter and he didn't name it after me. He's calling it the amazeballs."

"Sheldon", Amy said, "Leonard isn't going to name the particle after you. You didn't help him discover it. Now, eat your lasagna." She sounded like a mom talking to her primary school age son. "I agree with you, though" she continued, "calling a particle the amazeballs is kind of dumb sounding." She turned to Leonard. "Hate to burst your bubble, but I think there might be a protocol as to how newly discovered elementary particles and named." Even though Amy agreed with Sheldon on how stupid the name "amazeballs" sounded, she was still supportive and polite about it. "You could call it the amazeon" she said, trying to be helpful.

"No, he can't." Seldom retorted, "It's taken. The rainforest got first dibs."

"Genes share their name with pants, and I don't hear you complaining about that."

Sheldon scoffed at what Amy said. To him , it was like apples and oranges. Genes were a biology thing, and the newly discovered particle was a physics thing and thus (to him, at least) more important. "Typical biologist," he said derisively, "obsessed with pants and what's inside them"

Amy glared at Sheldon like a cat whose tiny expectations had not been met. "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, aren't I?" he asked, guiltily. Amy nodded.

As time went on, Leonard's paper got more attention. Even though the newly discovered particle didn't have an official name yet, Leonard still referred to it as the "amazeballs" in interviews and among the press. And Sheldon was still sulking about the name, probably because he was jealous that Leonard had done something that would change the course of history forever and definitely because he thought the name "amazeballs" was stupid.


End file.
